Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Swear to shake it up, and you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Applause, applause, no wait wait
Dear studio audience, I've an announcement to make:
It seems the artists these days are not who you think
So we'll pick back up on that on another page

And I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well
Don't you see, I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue

Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Swear to shake it up, and you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, swear to shake it up

Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes

This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
And it's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
And it sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal

The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
No it's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
And it sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal

Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relapse again

You can take the kid from the fight but
You cant take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
You can take the kid from the fight but
You cant take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back

You're a regular decorated emergency
You're a regular decorated emergency

This is the scent of your skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
And it's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
And it sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal

The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
No it's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
And it sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal

You can take the kid from the fight but
You cant take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
You can take the kid from the fight but
You cant take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back

Sit back, sit back
Relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back
Ba ba ba dah
You can take the kid out the fight

You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind you what you did when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again

You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind you what you did when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again

You can take the kid from the fight but
You cant take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
You can take the kid from the fight but
You cant take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back

Sit back, sit back
Relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back
Ba ba ba dah
You can take the kid out the fight

The I.V. and your hospital bed
This was no accident

Have some composure
Where is your posture?
Oh, no, no
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
[x2]

Give me envy, give me malice, give me a-a-attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"

She didn't choose this role
But she'll play it and make it sincere
So you cry, you cry
(Give me a break)
But they believe it from the tears
And the teeth right down to the blood
At her feet
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams
(Give me a break)

Have some composure
Where is your posture?
Oh, no, no
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
[x2]

Come on this is screaming "Photo op." op...op
Come on
Come on
This is screaming
This is screaming
This is screaming "Photo op."

Boys will be boys, baby
Boys will be boys
Boys will be boys, baby
Boys will be boys

Give me envy, give me malice, give me a-a-attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"

Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and boys will be boys
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams

"What a beautiful wedding
What a beautiful wedding," says a bridesmaid to a waiter
"And, yes, but what a shame
What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."

I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of

Oh, well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean, technically, our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne

Oh, well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean, technically, our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne, pour the champagne

I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationallity

Again

I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality

Strike up the band
Oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come, congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it
No, don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you move

Strike up the band
Oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come, congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it
No, don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you move

Just stay where I can see you
Douse the lights

We sure are in for a show tonight

In this little number we are graced by two displays of character
We've got the gunslinger extraordinaire
And a walking contradiction
Because I for one can see no blood from their hearts
Or the wrists you allegedly slit
And I for one won't stand for this
If this scene were a parish you'd all be condemned

Strike up the band
Oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come, congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it
No, don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you move

Strike up the band
Oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come, congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it
No, don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you, don't you move

Just stay where I can see you
Douse the lights
We sure are in for a show tonight
Just stay where I can see you
Douse the lights
We sure are in for a show tonight
Stay where I can see you
Douse the lights

Strike up the band
Oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come, congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it
No, don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you move

Strike up the band
Oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come, congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it
No, don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you move
Don't you move
Don't you move

Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and

When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white pinstripes, whoa-oh
Everything goes according to plan

I'm the new cancer, never looked better
And you can't stand it
I know because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get at all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better
And you can't stand it

Next is a trip to the ladies room in vain
I bet you just can't keep up with these fashionistas
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are the whispering campaign
To them, your name is "Cheap", and you look like sh--
Talk to the mirror, choke back tears
And keep telling yourself that, "I'm a diva."

Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box at your table
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

I'm the new cancer, never looked better
And you can't stand it
I know because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get at all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better
And you can't stand it

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it

And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious

Oh, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Oh, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

Tonight tenants range from a lawyer and a virgin
Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie
She's getting a job at the firm come Monday
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney,
Moonlighting aside, she really needs his money
Oh, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy, yeah

And not to mention
The constable, and his proposition
For that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
As he said to the Mrs.
Only hours before
Well after he had left
As she was fixing her face in a compact
There was a terrible crash
(There was a terrible crash)
Between her and the badge
She spilled her purse and her bag
And held a "purse" of a different kind
Along with the people inside

Oh, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

There are no
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches and taking bad chances
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches and taking bad chances
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things

Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches and taking bad chances
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches and taking bad chances
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains